BY LIZZY DUCK, SAFEGUARDING CONSULTANT
Working with children and young
people is one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. It isn’t always easy
(if ever) but if you enjoy making a difference it is definitely a job worth
seeking. Over the years I have worked with many different ages and abilities in
a vast array of different settings. Examples of these include leading sessions
at a playscheme, running PE lessons at primary/secondary school, facilitating
and engaging young people at youth groups and organising play activities for
almost 200 children in The Gambia.
All of the above may seem
extremely different but at the centre of all of these activities there remains
a child/ young person who is there because they want to be. It is really
important to remember that all children are different. All of them have
different backgrounds and live in differing situations. All of them have
different emotional needs and to some young people you may be their only
constant activity /face they see each week. With this comes many obstacles.
Does everything always go to
plan? The answer to this will quite often be no. It can be frustrating when you
plan something and then for various reasons it doesn’t work. Did enough/too
many people attend? Was everyone at the ability your activity was planned for?
Did you have enough equipment? Did the group want to complete the task? Did the
dynamics of the group affect the ‘learning’? As a teacher, instructor,
playworker or coach you must be adaptable. You must be able to accept that it
is okay to change and divert from the original plan. Reading your audience is a
skill that anyone working with children and young people must possess.
The biggest challenge that
overrides every group you will ever work with is challenging behaviour. There
are many different reasons as to why a child/young person may present
particular behaviours and is it vital that when dealing with this behaviour you
focus on the behaviour being challenging and not the individual. It is
important to remember that behaviour is learnt and can therefore change. There
were many times I would go into a new school/group and the first thing you
would be informed is ‘who the naughty ones are’. This is something that after
numerous occasions of tarnishing these particular children I actually asked
schools/teachers not to tell me anything about the group prior to my delivery. If
you are told this then you subconsciously have hawk eyes constantly waiting for
that child to demonstrate bad behaviour. The worst part then is when the
teacher says ‘ I told you he was like that’. I found that many of those being branded
by their teachers were actually the children and young people that engaged and
excelled in the activities I was doing. They were those that didn’t have the
attention span or capabilities to excel in science but may be fantastic team
players that could show great leadership qualities during a sports tournament.
Challenging behaviour can take
many different forms and an inappropriate behaviour in one particular setting
may be deemed appropriate in another. For example, it may be deemed
inappropriate to yell the name of your friend across the maths classroom but
during a team building exercise where you are guiding them blindfolded through
an obstacle course this behaviour is perfectly acceptable. We must remember
that behaviours arise in order to have particular needs met. It is linked to
our emotions and perceptions and therefore the way somebody responds to
particular behaviours is really important. I have learned over the years that
shouting is never an option unless I deem it necessary to prevent an
incident/accident occurring. If you shout at a child you have used all of the
tools in your box to deal with their behaviour and there is nowhere else you
can go to help them correct this. You also don’t always know what their
homelife is like. They could be living in an extremely toxic household where
domestic abuse is prevalent and shouting is all they ever hear. We must always
be mindful of scenarios like this and never make assumptions about why children
behave in a particular way. As the adults in the situation it is really
important to remain calm when dealing with certain behaviours. We must actively
listen to the child/ young person as to how they are feeling and why they may
have behaved in such a way.
So why do children and young
people present challenging behaviours? I have worked with many people who have
the attitude of ‘they just want to be difficult’. This is most definitely not
the case. Quite often the causes of the behaviour shown by the child are
actually outside of the child’s control. Have they suffered a traumatic
experience/ bereavement? Have they been subject to bullying throughout their
school life? Are they a young carer? Do they have a dysfunctional family? Are
they witness to abuse and substance misuse at home?
Whilst thinking about the above
it becomes clear as to why a child or young person may appear difficult. This
is because more often than not they are craving adult attention. Even if this
attention is negative, they deem it more rewarding than being completely
ignored. Let’s be honest nine out of ten times a child behaves badly the adult
will respond to them as they have acknowledged the behaviour. This is welcomed
by the child even if it means they are being told off. This will quite often
happen with children or young people who have poor attachment with their
parents. As someone who works in these environments it is essential to remember
that we become role models. The example we set to them whilst engaging with
them should always be that of a professional nature. Although we want to ensure
we share a mutual respect with one another to enhance the trust within the
relationship we are not their ‘friend’. By behaving in a ‘friendly’ way we
don’t determine boundaries from the outset and this in turn can then make the
young person/ child feel rejected when we can’t be their mate. This too can
then lead to an outburst of unwelcomed behaviour. We may be demonstrating to
them a situation they are far too familiar with which has meant they tend not
to engage with any adults and distrust them.
We are all different. We all work
in different ways and under different pressures and time constraints. We all
work in different environments. We all have different interests that make us
quirky. So do our children. As long as we ensure they are always at the centre
of everything we do within our groups, companies, schools, organisations we
truly can make a difference. We need to accept it is okay to do things wrong
sometimes because that is how we learn. Listening and showing we care is all
some of these children and young people want. Enjoy making a difference!
By Lizzy Duck, Safeguarding Consultant
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