Empowering young people to build healthy relationships - By Tina Pokuaah

 

Relationships play a key part in young people’s wellbeing. From birth they are important to their development, mental health and feelings of belonging. They can be inherently positive; contributing to their happiness, confidence, health and even advancing their life aspirations. Therefore, being intentional about teaching young people about healthy relationships in their homes and in schools shouldn’t be taken lightly. The below 5 tips are not an exhaustive list, but are a good starting point to having honest and open conversations, that they can utilise in both their romantic relationships and friendships groups too.  

1.       Help them define what a healthy relationship means to them

Healthy relationships don’t look the same for everyone since we all have different needs, which can also change throughout different life stages. So, with this in mind, encourage them to note down what the current important internal characteristics are to them.

2.       Empower them to be confident in communicating their needs

Being honest about their expectations and intentions for their relationship is important. Are they looking to cultivate a relationship with someone with similar interests and hobbies? Or have a causal relationship? Whichever way, it’s advisable for them to be completely transparent with the person in question right from the beginning. Once they’ve established their intentions, they both should start being comfortable voicing their thoughts, concerns, and sharing perspectives without fear of judgement.

3.       Teach them to understand the power of their intuition

Listening to their internal thoughts and feelings they have can save them a lot of heartache and trauma. Before they fully commit themselves to the relationship, encourage them to take the time to check in with themselves. To analyse the situation and identify what might be early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, and to always pay attention to how their energy increases or decreases when they are around certain people. For example, do they find themselves feeling uneasy, anxious or drained?

4.       Encourage them to recognise the importance of setting boundaries

Boundaries are the imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time from the behaviour or demands of others. It’s important for them to understand that setting boundaries is a healthy and respectful way to treat themselves and others. Evidently, relationships are not always ‘butterflies and walks in the park’, and that’s okay. However, what is not OK is normalising intentional abuse, never-ending pain and suffering all for the sake of keeping a relationship together.

5.       Promote and practice equality

Last but not least, a healthy relationship is a balanced and reciprocal one in which both parties give and receive. This involves a positive exchange of all the good things like support, affection, trust and respect. If they are giving more than they receive - or vice versa - it’s important for them to question that maybe that person doesn’t have their best interest at heart.